Simon on Slate
December 15, 2015
The Joy of Hate-Gifting
On the art of showing how little you care this holiday season.
"Learn to point the finger. If people are giving you the thumbs down on your outfit, simply pass the buck, 'Yes, I know… isn't it hideous! The designer should be ashamed of himself.'"
"Sometimes fashion can damage your credibility: nobody wants a colonoscopy performed by some chick in a Comme des Garcons hump dress or a Cavalli sequined unitard."
"I like my politicians-and their wives-to be frumpy and frowzy. They must deny themselves any fashion indulgences so that the rest of us can be flossie flosssie and fabulous."
"As you get older make sure your eye-wear gets larger. Think Yoko Ono! Think Swifty Lazar! By the time I am 80 I want to be Mr McGoo."
"Ditsy jewelry is annoying and unacceptable. Rocks and gems should be emphatic: e.g., turquoise. It’s bold, it’s chunky, it’s bohemian–even if you’re not. It has many moods and magic properties including, some say, the power to protect a rider from a falling off a horse."
Simon in the News
Women’s Wear Daily: Simon Doonan on Holiday Windows, the Ultimate Freebie
Simon on Slate
December 8, 2015
The Great Trans-Atlantic Scone Off
Can ABC’s The Great Holiday Baking Show rise above the beloved British original?
Simon on Slate
November 17, 2015
Tourniquet Trousers and Straining Armholes
Can men’s clothing possibly get any tighter?
Simon on Slate
November 3, 2015
Supreme Seams:
Mahogany turns 40 this month, and she’s looking better than ever.
Simon on Slate
October 12, 2015
Hair Today, President Tomorrow:
A well-coiffed guide to trimming and zsooshing one’s way to the Oval Office.
Simon in the News
How Simon Doonan Spends His Sundays
Simon on Slate
June 25, 2015
Free Willie
Outlining the rise of the fashionable phallus
Simon on Slate
June 11, 2015
Notes from a Sickly Sojourn
Advice on traveling with—and surviving!—biohazardous loved ones this summer.
Simon on Slate
May 18, 2015
Style in Numbers
Learning to harmonize with a cappella fashion