• "Learn to point the finger. If people are giving you the thumbs down on your outfit, simply pass the buck, 'Yes, I know… isn't it hideous! The designer should be ashamed of himself.'"

  • "Sometimes fashion can damage your credibility: nobody wants a colonoscopy performed by some chick in a Comme des Garcons hump dress or a Cavalli sequined unitard."

  • "I like my politicians-and their wives-to be frumpy and frowzy. They must deny themselves any fashion indulgences so that the rest of us can be flossie flosssie and fabulous."

  • "As you get older make sure your eye-wear gets larger. Think Yoko Ono! Think Swifty Lazar! By the time I am 80 I want to be Mr McGoo."

  • "Ditsy jewelry is annoying and unacceptable. Rocks and gems should be emphatic: e.g., turquoise. It’s bold, it’s chunky, it’s bohemian–even if you’re not. It has many moods and magic properties including, some say, the power to protect a rider from a falling off a horse."

Simon on Slate

December 15, 2015

The Joy of Hate-Gifting

On the art of showing how little you care this holiday season.

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Simon in the News

Women’s Wear Daily: Simon Doonan on Holiday Windows, the Ultimate Freebie

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Simon on Slate

December 8, 2015

The Great Trans-Atlantic Scone Off

Can ABC’s The Great Holiday Baking Show rise above the beloved British original?

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Simon on Slate

November 17, 2015

Tourniquet Trousers and Straining Armholes
Can men’s clothing possibly get any tighter?

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Simon on Slate

November 3, 2015

Supreme Seams:
Mahogany turns 40 this month, and she’s looking better than ever.

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Simon on Slate

October 12, 2015

Hair Today, President Tomorrow:
A well-coiffed guide to trimming and zsooshing one’s way to the Oval Office.

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Simon on Slate

June 25, 2015

Free Willie

Outlining the rise of the fashionable phallus

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Simon on Slate

June 11, 2015

Notes from a Sickly Sojourn

Advice on traveling with—and surviving!—biohazardous loved ones this summer.

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Simon on Slate

May 18, 2015

Style in Numbers

Learning to harmonize with a cappella fashion

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